My Testimony
It is one thing to say you are a Dragon, but, to live it? That is another. The creative world is infested and saturated with Dragons. Everyone wants to be one of us but few stop to think of what that identity shift would imply, include, or entail.
Back around 2009 when I found out I had the great honor of being A Dragon I traipsed through the same pathways and experiences so many Dragons go through in the process of finding their true identity. One day, however, there was a tipping point. Oh I remember it so clearly! I was knelt down in prayer to the Lord, in my room, the doors locked, desperately praying to see my true self, and...I began to feel weight hanging from the middle of my back and my shoulders. It didn't take me long to realize...those were my wings! Then I felt the balanced weight of my tail. I felt the weight of these limbs as if they were physically attached to my body. From that point on...it was a wild and beautiful journey of discovery. I remember at Student Life camp that same year I had discovered so much of myself as a Dragon that I was actually ashamed of who I was, as Dragons represent Satan in the Book of Revelation, and many other places in God's Word as well. I began to wonder "How is it I can be a Dragon, and love God? How do I know this is good? How do I know...that I'm not a demon? If I represent Satan in God's Word, my GOD I HATE MYSELF! What am I doing?! I have to stop this Dragon thing!"
So I struggled with this painfully. Each week at camp things got deeper and deeper into detail in the Bible Studies, how God loves us all, and accepts who we are, and forgives our sins before we even commit them, and makes us as He wants us to be from the moment of conception. I heard about the sacrifice Jesus made to pay for my sins as a Dragon and as a Human on the cross, and how His Grace was already sufficient for everything I had done, online, offline, how I had treated my parents, who I was...everything. And after that...I just...I just could not handle myself anymore. I had to know. Was it okay for me to be a Dragon? Could this actually be a good thing? Did being a Dragon mean that I was not included in the fullness of God's Love?
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Several days later these questions were answered, indirectly, one by one, in the sermon in the stadium, during evening service. At the end of the message the pastor held an invitation. He invited everyone that was ready to accept the salvation of Jesus Christ and His sacrifice to stand. Hundreds of young Humans stood. But me? I could not do anything but burst into tears. What had I said to my parents at home? How could I? What about my new identity as a creature not even expressly mentioned as being included in the offer of His Grace? Was I too far gone? Was I left out? Had I left myself out? Had I chosen to reject His love? Was it really just as simple and standing and accepting that He had died for me even as a Dragon, some 2000 years ago? Could I really be loved? Somewhere in the deafening pandemonium of my hammering heart I heard a small but confident voice. It said "Yes. He still loves you. He wants to know you." At that point, I couldn't hang onto my chair anymore. I rose, slowly...and then a little quicker, and finally, saw myself standing high, taller than everyone but yet, so weak, beaten, without excuse, guilty. Then I felt the warm hands of the youth minister. Then his wife. Then more hands, on my shoulder, rubbing my back. Arms wrapped around me. My guilt and shame in being a Dragon finally melted into happiness, pride, acceptance. Again the same voice spoke, this time a little louder, almost in my ear.
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"You are to be a Dragon for me. I love you as much as any Human here. You are not outside of my love. Nothing you could ever do could make me stop loving you. Now, rise to new heights. Write for my glory. Sing and proclaim the love I have given you, so that others may experience the security I have given you. For you never have to be ashamed that you love me. You will reach people Humans can not. Therefore, rise and be glad, good and faithful servant!"
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From that point on my life was the happiest it had ever been. As soon as I got home I began to write The Church Dragon. It just came to me. Every word was breathed into my ear. My claws flew across the keyboard. My eyes reflected the blinking cursor in a now-bursting WordPad document on Windows XP. I hammered the save icon. I went right into Chapter 2. Things were never better.
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The reason I am writing all of this, is to say, that being a Dragon, I have found...is a lifestyle. It is a way of living. A method of living. It is something that extends far beyond the boundaries of the online world. Dragons are such wonderful and inspiring creatures. Looking back I have been so happy to be one...it's...it's literally the whole reason I am living, and will continue to be so for many years to come, if not indefinitely! Thanks for reading.
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Yours Truly,
Your Friendly Neighborhood Writress,
Her Royal Majesty,
Official Pawprint Of Approval